


Comfort Begins

by Dull_neal



Category: Stephen Galaxy, Steven Universe - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Death, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Harm, Shattering - Freeform, Stephen Galaxy - Freeform, Steven Universe - Freeform, tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-02 22:17:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16313693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dull_neal/pseuds/Dull_neal
Summary: Interactions Immediately after Pink Diamond’s shattering, how the Diamonds begin to look after one another in desperate attempt to comfort each other.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It’s not too intense, but I figured I better just post it here as opposed to right onto Tumblr.  
> Tw: self harm (implied)

Yellow lay collapsed in a tangle of sheets on her bedding. Her armor was off. Her helmet was off. She was clothed in nothing more than a tank top and underclothes. She'd not even bothered to dress herself for bed after casting off her uniform.

She felt faint. The room spun. She was so incredibly empty, yet so incredibly full. Her labored breathing and sobs were the only audible sound in the room. She had even sent her Pearl out, figuring she'd be better off  Mourning with Blue's Pearl rather than trying to stay composed for her diamond. 

Yellow knew, at this point, and had given in and accepted, that the two had a sort of little fling together. Though that was the last thing on her mind now. 

Although, that wasn't the only reason Yellow had relieved her pearl of her duties. She was also ashamed to fall apart in front of anyone. It was ridiculous, she thought. Or, was it? How was she supposed to act? How was she supposed to feel? There was no protocol for mannerisms of mourning, as a diamond simply wasn't meant to mourn. 

This wasn't meant to happen. She didn't know what was happening to her body as she tried to regain control of her breathing. It was like she were some sort of low-class gem, suffering from "panic-distress" as lower class gems often did when put under too much pressure. She knew she should feel like filth for the comparisons between herself and the lowest of her court, but she found she couldn't make herself care.

Class seemed, dare, unimportant now. Her face had gone entirely wet with tears, and to her disgust, a string of drool that she didn't care to wipe. Her thoughts were racing, but at the same time remained...calm? No, that wasn't the word. Numb, rather. She had lost control of her physical form, she'd decided, and lost interest trying to control it. Not the tears, nor the shaking, nor the cries. What difference did it make?  
There were two trains of thought, she decided. One she didn't dare acknowledge, one of fear, anger, shame, confusion, grief, and so much more. And another one, of numbness, which only wondered things like are these walls soundproof and itchy nose. 

What would happen if she were to acknowledge the other train of thought? Without consideration she dove straight in. She'd been to out of it to apply logic, that maybe there was a reason she had separated herself from this messy string of thoughts, but it was too late.

Pink Diamond. The name rang throughout her mind and stung her eyes and ached her heart and before she could stop herself a sob, a loud sob, let itself out of her mouth.  
Pink pink pink, her heart pounded. She growled in a sudden flicker of anger at that who had taken her away. She pulled her already tear-soaked pillow over her face, bit down without quite knowing why, and screamed. 

The anger flushed away as quickly as it came, and was replaced with a wave of emptiness and all she could do was cry helplessly, holding the crumpled sheets to her body, wishing and begging for it to be pink.

Why had she stopped holding her when she asked? Why hadn't she just allowed pink to sit in her lap one more time? Why couldn't she just have held her hand when she asked?Why did she have to be so cruel to her?

Yellow's mind raced with guilt now, and her sobs turned quickly to wails. She cried out for the little diamond who could not answer. She was so small, if she'd just taken better care of her, she'd be here for sure.

Her emotions continued to tumble over her in waves, and she didn't understand what to do. She was completely and entirely overwhelmed, and suddenly felt impossibly lonely. Why had she sent her Pearl away? 

She now yearned more than ever for her cheesy little way of charm. If she were here now, Yellow puzzled, she would be scared, as she's never seen her cry unless it was Blue's doing. And even that was a rarity.

Yellow had cried, of course, but had only ever had three full-on fits that she remembered. Once, when she had first emerged, because she thought she was alone, and she was scarred. 

The second time was only a short time after the first, not even a month later. She'd had a fight with Blue, and had gone crying to White because she simply didn't understand what she'd done wrong. White had comforted her at the time, but made it clear that it was inappropriate for a Diamond to go around sobbing over every little thing. 

That had sort of stunted her feelings, and kept her from allowing herself to care too deeply over anything. When the desire to cry did hit her, she would lock herself away in her study and wait until the feelings subsided.

The third fit was now. It was worse than the first, and even the second. This was the absolute most horrible she'd ever felt, she concluded. More awful than she ever thought imaginable. Her eyes stung, her throat burned, and her chest ached, and she felt so terribly alone. 

Alone, cold, and unexplainably incapable.

The door phased open. She zipped her lips together at once, suppressing the sob. She brought the corner of the sheet up instantaneously blotting her eyes, surely smearing her liner paint, and promptly raised herself from the mattress enough to view the doorway. "Pearl," she blubbered without thinking through how she would sound, "I said you can leave, go find-" 

It was not her Pearl, she realized with slight shock. She didn't know how to react. There was no protocol for this either. There wasn't time to react however, as the luminous woman made her way to the bed without delay, and gently sat down. 

Yellow was curled up in fetal position, and White had sat down, perfect posture mind you, in the curl of Yellows stomach so they would be touching.

Yellow’s face had only made a brief appearance, and had now been returned to the safety of the crook of her elbow. She knew she must look disastrous, all huddled up and hiding like some sort of Pearl. She knew, judging by how she’d come to offer kindness, that White wouldn’t even take notice at a time like this. 

White was warm pressed against her, and Yellow couldn't place why this offered some sort of comfort to her. She wanted to not need this sort of thing, as if she were a blue gem requiring coddling and stroking.  
But she did not resist the small bit of contact, and she did not resist when a hand rested against her face. 

In fact, she relaxed at the touch. 

A thumb stroked across her lidded eye, down her tearstained cheek (how embarrassing) and stopped at her jawline. It traveled the same rout again, and again, until she finally caught her breath, which she hadn't really realized she'd lost. 

It took everything in her power not to give an affectionate hum. The hand moved from her face up into her short hair, and a calming line of nails was dragged across her scalp.  
She let out a sigh. "Sunlight..." The silence has been raptured. The sound of her long-since-forgotten pet name was just too much to handle; how could someone possibly offer such affection so specified for one person at a time like this? The tears rolled down her face, which was now out in the open a little more, once again.

White did not try to stop them, and just kept petting. "Can I move you into Blue's quarters?" White asked softly.  What an odd proposal. Yellow certainly hadn't expected it. Though she hadn't expected any of this.  
"Why?" Yellow asked, sounding helplessly feeble. 

"She needs you dear.  She's In a very bad place. I had to file down her nails just to help her from digging them into her flesh in all her anguish. She hasn't stopped sobbing yet."

That statement actually scared Yellow. She'd never heard of anyone scratching themselves up like that. What was going to happen to her? And if it was so very urgent she be with Yellow, why had White left her alone now? 

Yellow pushed herself up and away from the comfort of the mattress. Since White was sitting with Yellow sort of curled around her in a sense, when Yellow sat up, she was now extremely close to White. She paused, not wanting to abandon the chance for more of the deliciously rewarding warmth she had just discovered.

Sure enough White brought an arm around the smaller diamond, bringing her against her chest. Yellow shifted so her weight lay more comfortably. Her head on her shoulder, her cheek on her chest. White did not say anything, and Neither did Yellow. She just continued stroking her gently, soothing her down the best way she knew how.

"S'Blue alone?" Yellow croaked out in a now hoarse voice. Her throat was very soar, she found. "I've left her in the care of a few Amethysts who said they were up to it. But we shouldn't leave her for long." White said. 

Reluctantly, Yellow made a move to separate herself from the embrace as she knew they needed to be with Blue. White gave her face one final stroke of affection, and a loving smile. It amused Yellow to no end that the simple act of affectionate touch had genuinely managed to lessen the pain.  
Was this why the soldiers of her court were always sitting in each others pockets?  
Was this why Pink had always begged to sit in her lap? Why she always pouted and pleaded to hold her hand and nap in her bed and- Yellow steered her thoughts away to avoid falling back into the spiral of hurt.

White had stood, and moved out of Yellows range of vision for a moment. Yellow was slowly reorienting herself before she would make herself stand up again. She rubbed her eyes, forehead, and ran her hands through her hair, sighing and closing her eyes. She sluggishly dropped her legs over the side of the bed. "Arms out dear."  
She opened her eyes again. White stood in front of her now, golden silk robe in hand. She held it open for Yellow. She had become blatantly unaware of her state of undress for a moment there. She swiftly slid her arms through the fabric of the sleeves, bringing the robe closed around her, and lifting her arms so White could tie it closed. 

She wanted to draw it out longer, those little acts of being fussed over and looked after, the petting, the robe, and the holding, but she knew better. Though she had never expected to receive this level of affection from White, she knew it wouldn't last forever. She was sure, of course, it would happen again often now. But it had to end in this moment, for Blue.

Yellow grew a guilty little string of excitement at the thought of being with Blue; helping her feel better the way White had. White placed a hand on the small of her back as she stood, helping her up. It stayed there as the two made their way to the doorway, still open. Yellow was tickled by the thought of not being bothered by her court seeing her so untidy. 

Oh well, they were off. The base they were in currently was small compared to others, this one only having a grand hall, meeting room, and four rooms, each for a diamond to rest in. They made their way down the hallway from her room. As they approached the grand hall, the murmurs grew quiet. The sobbing and whimpering and moaning carried on. 

Finally, passing the out of the Hallway and into the Hall, Yellow slowed her pace. There were Gems from every court, even a few solidarity soldiers and a nephrite from Pink's.  Yellow was shocked at the sheer capacity of the room. There were so many. Most of which were sitting or lying against one another. It seemed so inappropriate by her standards...but then again...it felt as if her standards just might be altering. 

Could all the touch and affection be beneficial somehow? It surely seemed to make her feel better.  What had seemed like poison to her before had quickly become her new interest.

There was her Pearl, as expected, holding Blue's panicking Pearl against her chest. Immediately a number of gems from Yellow's court came to their feet. No salutes or formality, merely silent respect. 

White moved her hand from Yellows back to her shoulder, giving an empowering squeeze.  
Yellow suddenly felt a quite shy. How preposterous, a diamond, shy, in front of her own court. She felt strangely naked due to her lack of armor; disregarding the fact that she was quite literally in a state of nudity without the thin robe. One of Yellows Gems stepped hastily our of the crowd, causing her and White to halt completely.

She did not salute either. "My diamond..." she said. Yellow felt her tell-take heart pound in her chest. "We're...so sorry." The Gem spoke as if speaking to an equal rather than her creator. Others in the crowd gave little signs of agreement. Nods, sympathetic looks, small steps forward.  
"You have our deepest condolences. Anything you need just say the word." Said the Gem. Yellow was surprised to have one of her own Gems snow such compassion towards her. Certainly not the mannerisms she'd conveyed appropriate. It was dreadfully endearing, and gave her a funny feeling of weakness noticing her own appreciation for it.  
She nodded a thank you. 

White spoke.  
"You are all relieved of your duties until further notice. Take some time to process. Under regular circumstances, I would not suggest you show such sentiment, but these...are not normal circumstances. We cannot risk any self shatterings. I'm sure you're all more than aware of the little soldier from Pink's court, as word gets around." White began.

There were a few grimaces from the crowd, and a couple outbreaks of sobs.  
"All battling has ceased, therefore you've time to rest. Please take advantage of that and look after your psyches. Let that little soldier be your example; the mind is a very fragile thing in a time like this."

And then they were off again, passing by the Grand Hall just as soon as they had come, Nearing closer and closer to Blue. They stopped at her door.  Yellow could hear her, and grew a sense of urgency. White placed a hand against the panel, opening it quickly. 

Sure enough, Blue was inside, looking quite similar to how Yellow had a little while ago. Collapsed in a heap of blankets and sheets. There were the Amethysts, three of them, huddled up in the bed with her. One of them respectfully combing the hair away from her face. Another with her hands placed around her Diamonds, no difference in size stopping her from offering comfort. The third had tucked herself under Blue's chin, and draped her torso up her diamond's jawline, arm outstretched to wipe the tears. There were no words. 

Without speaking, Yellow left to comfort of White's grasp and went over to Blue, sliding in bed behind her. The Amethysts stood, and dutifully bowed rather than saluting. 

"Will that be all?" One of them asked gently. "Yes thank you," Yellow said hastily. "I'll look after her now, you may go. Many have gathered at the Grand Hall, but it's your choice."  
And with that The smaller gems were gone. And Yellow was Examining Blue. She was huffily sobbing, breathing with much labor, and shivering. 

There were scratch marks. They began under her eyes, leading into her hairline, and along the parts of her neck that Yellow could see. Yellow tried not to picture her, hearing the news and bringing her hands up to her face.  
First to clasp around her mouth, then over her eyes. How she must have wailed and dug her nails in. Agony Yellow hadn't been there to help her through. Yellow shivered, shaking the unwanted thought away. 

White, who had not yet left, leaned down, gently fixing the comforter over Blue's bare feet so she was covered. She tucked it into the crevice of where the mattress met the bed railing so it would stay put. She then made her way over to the head of the bed to bid her farewell.

Yellow placed a gentle kiss, as she thought appropriate, on the claws across Blue's face. She knew there was a time, very early on, when she had often kissed both Blue and white on the cheek. Though she couldn't even begin to imagine how long ago that must have been. She had been so much The skin had not quite been broken to the point of necessary medical attention, but blood pricked in small beads across the rows. She whimpered at Yellows touch, leaning into her warmth eagerly. As eager as Yellow must've looked earlier. 

"I must be off now." White said. Yellow figured she wouldn't stay for more than a spell. There must be an ungodly amount of reports to file, gems to consult, meetings to coordinate. It would be MONTHS before the dust finally settled. She would certainly be very busy. 

"Where will you go?" Yellow asked, not quite yet settled into the cocoon of a bed. "I'm going to stay with Pink's court. One of her soldiers had already tried to shatter herself." Yellow's eyes opened. She didn't know what to think.  
How could a gem be hurting so much that she wouldn't want to be anymore? Yellow hadn't even been close to that, and she'd been sobbing her eyes out, and surely would be again once White left. 

White could see the confusion on Yellow's face. "They're grieving very hard, dear. They're more fragile than us, and so are their feelings. As much as we enforce no showing of emotions while at work, this is absolutely crushing them." White relayed, seriousness creeping into her voice, differing from the gentle softness of the comfort from before.

"Alright then," Yellow said in a low octave to avoid her voice cracking. "We'll be here." And that was it. White left and they were left alone in soft darkness.

Though she must've been a little surprised to be receiving such upfront affection from Yellow, Blue didn't hesitate to roll over into Yellow’s chest. She winced as her scratches began to sting. Yellow shushed her, bringing her in as close as she could go. 

Yellow tucked Blue’s head under her chin. "I'm here," she said. She didn't understand why she had said it, truly, but she felt She wanted it known that Blue wasn't alone, and neither was she. Blue let out a sob, muffled a bit by Yellow's chest. Yellow didn't stop herself from crying alongside Blue. Strangely enough, it didn’t feel as out of place as she’d assumed it would. 

She brought her hand to Blues back, stroking small circles, giving her the affection she’d denied her for so very long. She hadn’t even realized how starved for touch she was until now, wanting nothing more than to hold Blue for a very, very long time.

Holding, stroking, and silence. That was what White had done for Yellow, and it had seemed to work wonders. It appeared to be soothing for Blue too. She hadn’t stopped her wailing, but her shaking was no more.  
She pressed herself into Yellow. She clung to her robe. She entangled their legs. Yellow held tight. 

She felt the need to sleep, like she’d never felt before. Sure, she’d taken many naps when she’d first emerged. She didn’t know any better, she thought. But that was only for comfort. Now she felt exhausted, like the life had been taken away from her. She wondered if blue must be feeling the same way. She wondered if Blue would sleep.

“Yellow.” Blue spoke suddenly, giving her a start. She sounded so desperate, when she spoke, and yet somehow so hollow.  
“Yes?” She replied gently. Blue tightened her grasp on the robe. “Please say it’ll be like this from now on, that you’ll hold me like you used to in times past.” 

Yellow’s eyes suddenly felt exceptionally full, and a flood welled over. She’d been crying nonstop but this was just absurd. Maybe if she’d not separated herself emotionally so much from Blue, she would’ve been able to go to her first. Maybe Blue would be able to handle it better if she’d known she wasn’t alone now. Maybe she wouldn’t have scratched herself up in such dismay. Yellow suddenly felt at fault for everything; For Blue’s current state, for Pink’s shattering, and even for that little Quartz soldier who she just knew must be in terrible agony. 

“Yes of course,” she barked suddenly, holding Blue as tight at she held her, “I promise you,” she said, wanting to say more. She couldn’t. Her throat was soar, her vision was impaired with all her tears, and she felt very, very small once again. So, she cried quietly with Blue. It was more intimate than anything she’d ever indulged in, but it felt good so she didn’t let go. 

She kept up her stroking on Blues back, as it seemed to calm her. Eventually, after many hours, Blue had gone quiet. Asleep, Yellow assumed. Good, she thought, now maybe her mind will have a little break from all the trouble I’ve caused. 

She snuggled down, thankful for White having pulled the blanket up earlier, and allowed herself to drift off finally, mentally preparing to stay however long was needed in Blue’s quarters. 

She thought of how different it would be, allowing herself to give affection and be held in return. It would definitely affect the dynamic of their current relationship. Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be all that bad.


	2. Never Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: intrusive thoughts of suicide

Silence. A grey, soft silence. It wasn't quite blissful, but it was calm. A perfect mellow melatonin haze.  
And then, it was over. Yellow blinked. 

The light that slyly slunk in through Blue's silk curtains was a gentle cream. A sign of that planet's sunrise. She was snapped further out of the haze called sleep. What was this disturbance? Her external senses took their time reorienting themselves after such a long period of slumber. 

A noise, that's what had awoken her. A noise, and now a movement. A gentle stirring against her body. Warmth. Yellow blinked again, her eyes not yet adjusted to the light, though gentle as it may be.

The movement occurred again, this time the accompanying noise becoming louder. A voice? A whimper. Suddenly Yellows thoughts came together enough for her to realize it was Blue. 

Not a whimper, a cry. "Blue," Yellow said. She hadn't mad a conscious decision to speak;it seemed her body had gone on autopilot. Her throat closed up in pain. Had she lost her voice? She was ashamed to think of how much she must have had to yell in her fit to do such a thing. 

Blue gave another cry, and quickly jerked against Yellow. The two were sort of cocooned together, legs entangled, With Blue resting against Yellow's chest. This made for a bit of an uncomfortable struggle when Blue thrashed again, crying out. 

 

"Blue!" Yellow voiced loudly as she realized the other diamond must still be sleeping. Yellows voice was not yet quite diminished, but it ached greatly. Blue was in fact asleep, and jumped awake. She shoved herself up and immediately took in a gasp of air and let out a painful sounding sob. 

Yellow wasn't slow to force the two of them up entirely into a (some what) sitting position. "No!" Blue wailed before Yellow could get a word in.  
Fresh tears painted Blue's face, suggesting she'd been crying in her sleep a bit as well.

"Blue, it's ok," Yellow croaked. To her dismay her throat was still not in working order, and stung to use. The sound of her voice shocked her a little, if she were honest. "No, no, no no," Blue carried on, all her "no's" slurring together into one big sleepy sob.

Yellow shushed her gently, and copied what she'd picked up from the Amethysts she'd observed with Blue the day prior. She stroked the hair out of her sleepy eyes, and behind her ears. She knew the locks would soon return to framing her face shortly, as Blue never did care to show too much of her face. But for now they would remain there. 

"Blue, look around," Yellow whispered softly to her, "we're in you're room. We're together, and nothing bad is going to happen while we're here." She hadn't been able to speak much the day before due to her own emotions, so she decided it was best to get everything out now. 

"No bad thoughts now. I know you must've dreamed about what happened but we can't think about that now, we've thought about it enough and it's time to rest." She said. 

She remembered the kiss she had planted on Blues scratches the day prior, but didn't find herself bold enough to do it again. Much too intimate a thing to do again so soon. She ran her thumbs down blues cheeks as her crying sufficed.  
If she were to do it again now, Blue would begin to expect these sort of affections all the time. Her mind fell back on the promise she'd made the night before.

"Please say it'll be like this from now on, that you'll hold me like you used to in times past." Blue had begged. "Yes of course," Yellow had answered.

She'd already let everyone down so much, it was only fair she keep her word now. She gently leaned her lips against Blues forehead, and kept like that for a minute. Blue hummed affectionately, giving a long exhale. She brought her shaking hands up to Yellows shoulders, wrapping her lengthy arms around her. When the kiss had been planted, Yellow brought her face away from Blue's. Blue lay her head on Yellow's shoulder. 

She took in a few breaths. She was aiding in calming herself down, Yellow realized. Progress was the word she wanted to attach to it. 'How was it progressive?' She wondered to herself.

She released the thought back into her mind like a Fish of undesirable size back to sea. The sun had surfaced he horizon now, the cream glow slowly growing into a golden yellow. Yellow herself was glad to be in Blues room at the moment; Cozy, together, and gently bathed in the streaks of light that soaked through the curtain. Blue shifted a little.

She sat back a little and reached behind her back to scratch where her bra had irritated her soft skin during the night. She hadn't even bothered to undress as Yellow had. She had simply received the news, walked to her chambers without responding, and fainted. White had come to help her. She didn't care to think about it any longer.

She found that she couldn't satisfy the itch herself, and it was beginning to drive her mad. "Yellow, could you scratch-" her face flushed, and she turned to show Yellow her hand, "White filed down my - my," she didn't want to mention it any further. It embarrassed her. Luckily she found she didn't have to, as Yellow's hand snaked up her back, and her nails skimmed against her flesh. She sighed in content. 

"Would you like this off?" Yellow offered, voice sounding quite painful to use. She was referring to Blue's undergarment, and sliding a finger under the band where the little clips came together. Without much thought Blue gave a quick "yes." She took comfort in the thought that she could trust Yellow with such an intimate task, and she wouldn't turn it sexual or be of disrespect. It was simply for Blue's own comfort.

The strap came undone, and through some wriggling Blue was able to get the thing off without coming undressed. Trying to keep her modesty, she discreetly dropped her garment off of the side of the bed and out of sight. Once Blue had made herself comfortable, Yellow returned her hand to its prior position and scratched lightly. Blue sighed, flexing into Yellow's touch.  
"Thank you," she whispered, settling down back into the sheets once Yellow commenced. She now lay face down to an extent, stomach to stomach with Yellow. Through some more slight readjustment, the two became comfortable once again. The room fell into a comfortable silence.

And then, the door opened. The sound of the panel activating and she slide made both diamonds jump.  
With no pause between the sound of the door, there came a voice. "M-My Diamond," the frail teary voice didn't even have time to finish before Blue cut it "Oh, you, come here." She pushed herself up off Yellow and opened her hands towards the little voice. 

Yellow quickly realized it was Blue's Pearl, followed by her own. She felt a twinge if shyness. "See, I told you she'd want to see you," Yellow's Pearl spoke reassuringly to Blue's. The little Blue pearl looked nearly as shaken as Blue herself. Blue immediately scooped her up in both hands and held the little thing to her cheek. "I'm sorry," she pleaded with her diamond as if any of this were her fault. "No, no, hush now. You're alright, you're with me. Come now, no more crying."

Yellow couldn't believe how much Blue spoiled her Pearl. Although it was endearing. Meanwhile, she glanced down at her own Pearl who stood, now shy as well, just by the bed on the floor. Blue and her Pearl still whispered to one another. Yellow Pearl stood at attention upon realizing her diamond was watching. "Oh," Yellow thought, "she hasn't been invited up" she realized after a moment of wondering why she hadn't followed her little lady into the bed.

"Come on up," Yellow invited cautiously, feeling a little skeptical about spoiling her Pearl a little, but just the smallest bit delighted with the idea, "We won't bite." It was such a taboo to treat a Pearl as anything more than an accessory, but Yellow found an urge to make an effort to be sweet to her. Maybe to obtain the level of relationship Blue had with her Pearl? No, she was thinking too far ahead. She doubted her Pearl would even want that after ages of being treated as a second class gem.  But she still fancied the idea of having someone else to comfort her, and to comfort in return if need be.  
Yellow outstretched her palm invitingly. Her Pearl stepped forward, and hopped into the open hand. "My Diamond, your voice..." She said after what seemed like a moments contemplative hesitation. 

"Don't worry over it Pearl." She said, trying not to sound too severe. Yellow Pearl knew very well that tone and phrase meant her diamond was not in the mood to discuss the topic in question. Yellow's thoughts quickly flopped to the other end of the scale. "She probably doesn't even fancy me," she thought rashly, "she didn't come to visit with me, she's only here for the moral support of Blue's Pearl. Not really knowing what to do with her little Pearl now that she was so close to her, Yellow brought her hand over to where Blue's Pearl was currently being coddled and spoiled. "There you are," said Yellow, feeling a wave of simultaneous relief and loneliness as she transferred her Pearl.

Blue scooped Yellow Pearl in an open hand as she skipped from palm to palm. That was the first time her Pearl had ever rested in her bare palm, Yellow realized. She rolled into her side before she could see what was to happen next. It didn't matter as much as moving her face out of sight. Out of Blue's sight, and her sobbing Pearls' sight, and the wary view of her own Yellow Pearl, because she suddenly felt her eyes sting. 

She shamefully pulled the covers up just to the bridge of her nose. She immediately felt very alone. Alone in a situation she felt she wasn't supposed to feel alone in. She felt abandoned all over again, and couldn't figure out why when it was her own fault; it was she who had turned everyone's attention away from her. She had abandoned herself. So why was she now biting hard down on the sheets to keep from sobbing?

It was her fault, just like everything else. Just like Pink's fate, just like Blue's pain, and just like the total collapse of everything around her. She bit down so hard on the sheets it hurt her jaw. If she had just been more aware of what she was doing, how she was very capable of negatively affecting those around her, the entire world wouldn't be in shambles.

She choked out a sob, unable to stop herself. The day before when this horrid loss of control had happened, she had been alone. Now, she was in front of almost everyone she had any regards for. Without really wanting to think about it, she wondered how easy it was to shatter oneself. That thought scared her, causing another sob to force itself out her heaving throat. She wanted that thought never to rear it's ugly head again. 

By this time, Blue and the two little Pearls had heard her. It had come over her so quickly, everyone was under some amount of shock. "Oh now don't you start," Yellow heard Blue coo. It wasn't directed at her, it was much too soft. Blue's Pearl was in tears before she even entered the room, so that only left her own Pearl.

"Great," Yellow thought to herself, "Now everyone's going thanks to me."  Yes, seeing her mistress in such distress had sent her over the edge, and Yellow Pearl had begun to sob too. Wether she was afraid she'd be in trouble for viewing her Diamond in such a vulnerable spot -which seemed taboo- or wether she was genuinely upset, Yellow didn't know. 

 

Yellow Pearl had quickly cupped both delicate hands over her face upon hearing her Diamond utter such an outcry of mourning. It was improper, after all, for a Pearl to publicly display any emotion other than awe of her Diamond, so she'd quickly tried to hide it away. Yellow felt Blue shift in the bed. "Come here poor thing. Yes, I know, she'll be just fine" Blue must have been speaking to Yellow's pearl now. There was a dreadfully forlorn undertone to her soothing voice. A little surprisingly, Yellow felt Blue's arm slide around her torso as their bodies came gently together again. 

She could hear Blue continue to offer words of comfort to her Pearl. Snippets of "you're not in any trouble love..." and "just let it out". Moments later, she felt Blue nuzzle her nose into the back of her neck. Yellow would later learn Blue lay in her back, Pearls snuggled into her chest, and had turned her face specifically to have a more intimate contact with Yellow. She breathed softly for a moment. She whispered so very quietly to her, so quiet even the Pearls shouldn't have been able to hear.

"I'm here for you. Pearl came to see you, so clearly she is too. You're not alone." Yellow did her best not to respond. She absolutely needed to hear what was said, and was very glad to hear it, but didn't know what was appropriate to say back. She was afraid pretty much anything would be incorrect, so she pretended to be asleep. She felt a little silly, as she knew it was obvious she wasn't. But what else was she to do? She had no idea where to even begin with her feelings.

She decided to remain unresponsive for the time being. Blue seemed to understand, what harm could it do. "My Diamond," came a small voice thought the silence. "Yes?" Blue responded. Yellow assumed it was her Pearl she was talking to, and didn't bother paying too much attention. "F-Forgive me for letting it slip my mind, but White Diamond asks we let you know she'll be on her way by soon t-to check on you both, and wants to make sure it's alright?"

Another few seconds of hesitant silence. Then, cautiously Blue answered "Yes, that should be alright. You're not going to be on your way already, are you?" Blue sounded pitiful, wanting her little friend to stay just a bit longer. Although she wasn't completely alone as she had Yellow, Blue still found it comforting to have more than one gem to mourn with. 

"I-I can stay as long as you'd like... er, I don't think White Diamond was expecting an immediate answer, but we shouldn't keep her waiting all day." She relayed. Blue sighed. "I suppose you're right. Let's just enjoy the togetherness for the time being, please?" She asked. It tickled Yellow how Blue would make requests of her Pearl rather than giving commands. 

"Of course, My Diamond." She finished. So, until the end of the hour, the Pearls remained in the intimate silence with their respective Diamonds. Yellow sensed the slightest bit of movement, and could hear the teeny tiny scratches of a Pearl having her hair pet. Blues Pearl was indeed, quite spoiled. But not rotten; she was very well mannered, and it seemed her true colors were pure too. Perhaps there was really nothing so terrible about treating Pearls like a real gem after all.

 

They had only just awoken, yet Blue and herself had both cried that day, Yellow realized. Only just awoken, yet she felt her eyelids grow heavy, and her mind drift into a blur. 

Mourning was hard, she realized.


End file.
